Toyota and Tesla Team Up

So, I was scrolling through the CNN home page again, but this time my browser did not crash and I double checked the headline. It without doubt read:

"Toyota and Tesla team up."

Well, that's utterly insane, as Nikola Tesla died in New York in 1943.

I know that you had a massive recall and your company is desperate. I know green cars are all the rage and that Tesla was an innovator of electricity. I know electric seems to equal green. Maybe it's better than gasoline, but a lot of electricity comes from coal, so is the green alternative really electricity?

Can't we find green in vegetable oil, watermelon rind, urine?

Why should I believe you Toyota?

When the gas peddle of my Camry stuck, and I smashed straight through the killing floor of my local pork abattoir, was Toyota there? Hell no, my insurance adjuster was there. The cops were there. The paramedics were there. The ESPCA were there, and the farm saftey board showed up too. But I saw no representative of Toyota dropping by the accident site, where my car was submerged in pig gore, giving me a belated heads up about the recall.

Have you heard of Trichinosis? I don't know what they call it in Japan, but here, we call it worms split my stomach open and I bleed out and I die.

I wouldn't leave a Toyota to my neighborhood pedaphile in my will.

Toyota, after the horrifying "Carrie" experience your company put me through, I am driving a Chevy. I took your wretched car and dumped it in a river. My only hope is that is will not injure the fish.

Toyota, if I abide by this corporate fantasy, I should also be expecting the following CNN headlines?

Bang and Olufsen team up with Beethoven?
Apple teams up with Turing?
Nikon teams up with Dagurre?
Sony Pictures Classics has teamed with Muybridge?
Air France teames up with Wilbur Wright?

Oh no. I am de-wormed now and thinking clearly.

First the gas pedal cover up and now this.

Will the lies never cease?