This is what I see: the painful nocturnal plight of women with breast implants. And the bigger their breasts, the greater my anxiety.
Have you ever heard of a support network for women with enormous fake breasts? Is there a foundation? A charity run? Even a Facebook page?
I see a looming epidemic. Women who stuffed their chests in youth will experience 3 times the health burden as women who kept their breasts au natural.
And if I were to go Larry King deep, I would ask the following question.
Are your spectacularly large breasts worth the pain? Did they get you everything you hoped for? Is there any post surgical angst?
I used to read about these women when I was a teenager. There were a handful of magazines in which they would appear. Their stories were often short, limited to a few lines in the centrefold. They tended to sound the same. "Cheerleader in high school, athletic, loves to ride horses, ballet trained, loves hiking and sunsets."
In their reality, I guess that life seemed better with artificial orbs ranging in size from vollyballs to beach balls. With that, I am sure they thought, I should be able to rule the world. But time catches yp, especially the artificially bodily modified.
Why is there no advocacy group for women with fake breasts. After all, there are millions of women with breast implants; half of them in the LA basin.
I can understand the burden of carrying around mammoth silicone globes, sometimes weighing pounds, stretching your skin taut and straining your back. I admire you for your perseverance.
For years I have been contemplating starting my own charity whose proceeds would help alleviate the suffering of women with fake breasts.
A friend from California recently mailed this advert.
Obviously, someone with the same concerns was also lying awake at night and measuring the cost of human misery. They offered some solution when all I could offer was sympathy.
It's a small step, but an vital one towards the salvation of implanted women everywhere.
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