The Meat

My older brother Wally still lives with my parents. He's slept in the same room for over 40 years. In 1990, he formed a Meatloaf cover band. Wally sings lead vocals. They call themselves "The Meat." All members are original, except for Donny Beatty, the first keyboardist, who was electrocuted in 96 while trying to steal a sattelite dish. "The Meat" still get a gig here and there. Meatloaf has never lost popularity in the country. Wally is a seasonal worker; a sod-cutter by trade. From April to September, he works on a local sod farm. During the winter, he draws unemployment insurance, lifts weights and writes lyrics to unrecorded songs. He is also a lifelong womanizer. In a town of 3600 people, he has slept with at least 200 women. He claims that he still gets laid a few times a month. There can be a lot of desperation in a small town. To my knowledge, he has never contracted an STD. Wally drinks a shocking amount of alcohol, he always has. Though, I wouldn't call him an alcoholic. Every year at his physical, he asks for a liver enzyme count, which always comes back normal. He requests a lab photocopy so he can buy a lottery ticket with the same numbers as his test. In 2006, he was three digits away on the last number for 7 million. Wallys hair is 1984 (the style of his wig is 1984. In truth, he's been bald since 97). His fashion is 1990. His IQ is 131. That's what I find a little sad.

Wally has asked to be a guest blogger on Dingo Farm. My parents don't own a computer and the only public terminals in town are at the library. But, since Wally had an affair with the librarian in 2004, which nearly ended her marriage, he can't enter the town library without causing a riot.

I doubt he even knows what blogging is--do any of us really--BUT, I'm considering it, as his worldview is exceptionally unique. This would mean Wally mailing me his hand written blog and me transcribing it to text. I told him firmly that I would have editorial control. As well, I mailed him a strict set of guidelines about acceptable topics and language I would not tolerate.

So, here's a picture of my older brother, Wally Dulles Reuben. Have a look and keep in mind, his head's a bit twisted, but he's a straight shooter with his heart is in the right place.

Wally D Reuben, Lead Singer, "THE MEAT" publicity photo 2002.