One Big NJ Mother...who gives me a great idea

I don't think I can offend someone by calling them fat, when they seem thrilled with their own morbid obesety and delight in a media campaign which publicises their current superhuman dimensions. Especially, when they express interest in gaining even more weight.

If I were to describe them as human lardon with limbs, would it be cruel, when they themselves revel in their own extraordinary fatness?

I think, in this specific case, exceptionally tubby is a kind phrase, grotesquely fat is a compliment and impossibly elephantine is a term of endearment.

And I can't help but admire this woman.

She is a gargantuan 42 year old mother named Donna Simpson. She lives on Pleasant Valley Road in Old Bridge Township, New Jersey. USA. And she is just SO happy to be fat. She loves herself and her life and she wants to get fatter.

Who can blame her?

Big Momma Donna has become something of a media sensation of the moment. She stands 5 foot 4 and weighs 640 pounds. I can say it without guilt. Donna is one big fat woman.

According to my research, three years ago, it took 30 medical professionals to deliver her first child. I hope it was a natural birth and not a c-section. And thank God it wasn't in Canada, as the taxpayer would have been footing the bill for a delivery of that proportion.

Donna Simpson, from Old Bridge Township, NJ, also makes extra cash as a model. She appears on SUPERSIZEDMODELS.COM under the alias of "Treasure Bombshell." Here, she poses for fat fetishists all over the world and patrons can even pay for the immense pleasure of watching her eat via webcam.

To me, this sounds like the American dream. Why then, when I read the media coverage Donna has generated, do I feel so dirty and sick? This should not be. Here is a smart, independent and incredibly fat woman living life on her own terms, offering a service for which there is solid demand. Who are we to judge?

Now is this so shameful, so horrific? No. This is a modern woman taking advantage of modern times. If you don't want to look, fine, avert your eyes and go away. But plenty of paying customers want to see this and more, much MUCH more.

I think it's great. I give Donna two thumbs up. Five stars. We could all take a page, I think. And, Donna, you have inspired me to explore the possibilities of something I love as dealry as you love food.

Beer.

Pislner and ale, lager and bitter, foreign and domestic. I love its foamy depth and cool richness. I could drink it day and night if it was socially acceptable to do so. I work a freelance job, so during the gaps in employment, if I were to sit in my computer room and guzzle beer, someone would soon call the interventionists. I would be pitied by people and seem diseased in the eyes of society.

But, if I could turn my passion for suds into a business and profit from something I love doing, then I become a savvy net-repeneur.

Everyone is trying to find money from the internet. The modern American dream is to provide a paid service from home with access to a worldwide customers.

There are so many people who love beer like I do but are unable to drink it for various reasons: domestic responsibilities, alcohol issues, religious beliefs...

For all those people, I would become a live, beer guzzling proxy via web cam; an Avatar of sorts for a beloved habbit they cannot induldge in.

I drink beer, customers pay to dictate the type, the quantity, the speed etc.

I, like Donna, could indulge my greatest passion and get paid for it.

Sounds like the best gig in the wide world to me.